I'm Not Making Resolutions This Year

I'm Making Promises to Myself

The Year That Broke Me Open

This year was hard.

If you felt it too especially in those final months you're not alone. Something about the weight of it all, the accumulation of everything we've been carrying, finally cracked through whatever armor we'd been wearing.

For me, the end of the year wasn't a gentle close. It was a reckoning.

And as we stand at this threshold the arbitrary line between December 31st and January 1st, I find myself not wanting to participate in the usual ritual of resolutions.

Not because I don't believe in change. But because I've come to understand something deeper about what I actually need.

Why I'm Done with Resolutions

We all know how it goes.

January arrives with its promise of a "new you." You write your resolutions with good intentions:

• Lose weight
• Exercise more
• Be more productive
• Save money
• Read more books

And for a while, you try. You make progress on parts of it. You check some boxes. But slowly, as the year passes, the resolutions fade. Some get partially achieved. Most get quietly abandoned. And by next December, you're writing a similar list, wondering why you couldn't just stick with it.

Here's what I've realized: Resolutions can become an escape.

They let us focus on surface-level wants instead of diving deep into what we actually need. They give us the illusion of change without requiring us to face the uncomfortable truths beneath our goals.

"I want to lose weight" is easier to say than "I need to move my body daily because I've abandoned the practices that kept me grounded."

"I want to be more productive" is simpler than "I need to rebalance my responsibilities so I don't leave myself behind."

The Spring Equinox: The True Turn of the Year

While the calendar marks January 1st as the new year, I've always recognized the Spring Equinox as the true turning point the moment when the earth itself shifts, when light begins to overtake darkness, when nature wakes from winter's rest and begins again.

There's something honest about that timing. Spring doesn't rush. It doesn't demand immediate transformation on some arbitrary date. It arrives when it's ready, when the conditions are right for new growth.

And so, as the year changes and turns toward spring, I'm not making resolutions.

I'm making promises to myself.

The Difference: Wants vs. Needs

This requires going deeper than we're used to.

It means asking not "What do I want?" but "What do I need?"

And then, the hardest part, being brutally honest with the answer.

What I Thought I Wanted

I could say, "I want to lose weight."

I could say, "I want to get back to lifting weights in the gym."

These are surface goals. They sound productive. They're measurable. They're the kind of things you put on a resolution list.

But they're not the truth of what I need.

What I Actually Need

What I need is to move my body daily, the way I did before the events of this year knocked me off course.

That's the truth beneath the want.

It's not about the number on the scale or how much I can lift (as these things are influenced by my healing process). It's about reconnecting with the practice of movement the ritual that kept me grounded, present, and in my body.

Many factors pulled me away from my routine this year. Life happened. Responsibilities multiplied. Stress compounded. And slowly, without even realizing it, I stopped showing up for myself in the ways that mattered most.

So my promise isn't I will lose weight. or I will eat healthier.

My promise is: I will move my body daily, even when it's hard, even when I'm tired, even when life gets chaotic, because this is how I stay connected to myself.

The Promise: Rebalancing My Life

Here's another truth I've been avoiding:

I need to rebalance my responsibilities so that I do not leave myself behind.

This year, I let myself get swallowed by study and work. I told myself it was necessary, that I was building something, that I was being disciplined and focused.

But what I was actually doing was abandoning the parts of me that need play, laughter, creativity, and rest.

I lost my hobbies.
I lost my sense of fun.
I lost the lightness that makes life worth living.

And in doing so, I left myself behind.

The Things We Tell Ourselves

It's easy to say, "I need better balance."

It's another thing entirely to actually create it.

Because balance doesn't happen by accident. It requires intention. It requires saying no to things that seem important but aren't serving you. It requires protecting your energy, your time, and your joy like they matter, because they do.

So my promise isn't "I will try to be better at work / life balance."

My promise is: "I will protect my hobbies, laughter, and play as fiercely as I protect my work and study, because without them, I am not whole."

Releasing What No Longer Serves

And then there's the hardest work of all:

Releasing what is not serving me.

Not just saying I need to.
Not just recognizing it intellectually.
But actually doing it.

This means:

People who drain me, disrespect my boundaries, or keep me stuck in old patterns.
Places that no longer align with who I'm becoming.
Habits that numb me instead of nourish me.
Foods that make my body feel heavy and disconnected.
Beliefs about myself that were never mine to begin with.

This isn't about being harsh or cutting people off carelessly. It's about being honest.

It's about recognizing that holding on to what doesn't serve you out of guilt, obligation, or fear is a form of self-abandonment.

And I'm done abandoning myself.

So my promise isn't "I should probably let go of some things."

My promise is: "I will release what no longer serves me, people, places, patterns, and beliefs. Not just in words, but in action. I will create space for what actually nourishes my soul."

The Shift: From Resolutions to Promises

So what's the difference between a resolution and a promise?

A resolution is something you hope to do.
A promise is something you commit to becoming.

Resolutions are about outcomes.
Promises are about showing up.

Resolutions can be broken without much consequence.
Promises are sacred contracts with yourself.

This year, I'm not interested in checking boxes or hitting arbitrary goals that sound good on paper.

I'm interested in seeking what I need and making a promise to show up for myself over and over again, even when it's hard.

The Question I'm Asking You

So here's what I want to know:

What do you need for a better year?

Not what do you want.
Not what you think you should do.
But what do you actually need?

What have you been avoiding beneath the surface-level goals?

What parts of yourself have you left behind in the chaos of this year?

What are you holding onto that you know, deep down, is no longer serving you?

And most importantly:

What promise are you willing to make to yourself not as a resolution you hope to keep, but as a sacred commitment to show up for your own life?

My Promises to Myself

As the year turns and we move toward the Spring Equinox, the true new year, these are the promises I'm making:

1. I promise to move my body daily, reconnecting with the practice that keeps me grounded and present.
2. I promise to rebalance my responsibilities, protecting my hobbies, laughter, and play with the same fierceness I give to work and study.
3. I promise to release what no longer serves me, people, places, patterns, beliefs, and habits. Not just in recognition, but in action.
4. I promise to show up for myself, even when it's uncomfortable, even when it would be easier to fall back into poor patterns.

These aren't goals I hope to achieve.
They're commitments to return to myself and to who I'm becoming.

The Invitation

If this resonates with you, if you, too, are tired of resolutions that fade and goals that ring hollow, I invite you to join me.

Not in making a list of things you want to accomplish.

But in getting quiet enough to hear what you actually need.

And then making a promise,to yourself, for yourself, to show up for that need, over and over again, as the year unfolds.

Because the truth is:

We don't need another year of trying to become someone we're not.

We need a year of finally showing up for who we already are.

So.....What do you need for a better year?